Sooo I should be studying…but I’m not. 

Today was another shitty ass day…I love my job n all but the shit that is going on right now is getting to me and I know I shouldn’t let it get to me.  But it is…and its really pissing me off.  Today I almost broke down after I was confronted by a parent about how I treated her son.  I treat all the students the same…if you don’t like it tough.  I’d like to see some of these parents spend recess in my shoes and then come and complain to me.  It’s all a bunch of fucking bullshit and I should just say ok and let it go but it just seems like everything I do I’m getting into some kind of shit with a parent.  I guess everything is just falling on top of each other and it’s all falling on me.  And I’m sick of it!

Everyday I come home and I ask myself “am I going to be ok as a teacher?” “am I doing the right thing?” “should I have done that differently?” generally “am I gonna be ok?!” I come home everyday and I just wanna cry, I wanna run to my room put my face in my pillow and just let it out. But I don’t…

I don’t even know what I’m talking about now…gotta get back to studying! 

Currently Playing The One By Frankie J., Frankie J see related

- How Do I Deal

I NEED TO VENT!!!!!!  

Seems like there is no one around to just listen…there are so many more important problems to be listened to.  All I want is like an hour to just let everything out. 

SOOOO…… here I am, fucking writing this shit down in my fuckin xanga…I’m sure after it all comes out its gonna sound so stupid, and I’m gonna sound like a whiner…but hey who the hell cares, you don’t have to read this!

I’m sick and tired of people who have jobs not doing a thing.  I work because it is going to help me with my future, plus I get paid.  I work full time as a TA and then I help with the after school program and I baby sit.  Of course I put all this on me, but I wanted it all.  Not cuz of the money, cuz hell we all know I don’t get paid that well.  I did it to learn about what I wanna do with the rest of my life.  I didn’t think I would be learning about how people can be so fucking annoying.  It pisses me off that some people would complain and complain about what they do all day and then when things get switched around they fucking complain about that shit.  For example, everyday us TAs go to different classrooms, and at recess and lunch we have yard duty.  It’s a routine, we do it everyday and at the same hour we move to the next spot.  I love it, I get to work with so many different classes that each day there is a new challenge that has to be met.  At recess and lunch there are different problems I much help with.  Its very educational, and I just love doing it.  There are other people who don’t like it…here are a few quotes of what I hear everyday, “it’s too hot to be standing outside working.”  “these kids are so annoying, all they do is complain.”  “the older kids never listen when we talk.”  “ gosh why do we have to constantly move around.”  “we seriously don’t get paid enough for what we’re doing.”  And the list goes on…is all this monkuing getting these people anywhere?! NOOOO!  Ok so now there is an Art Show coming up [[May 18^th, come n support the kids!]] and all the TAs are being pulled from the classes to help with this.  This job involves squatting a lot, bending over, sitting on ur knees.  Its definitely hard on your knees and back but hey that’s part of being a TA.  At the end of the day my knees and back are killing me but no one hears about it, I just smile and ask if things are ok.  But what do I hear?! Here are some more quotes, “oh my god my knees are killing me.”  “Do they expect us to get massages after work or something.”  “I don’t remember anywhere in the application that says we would be doing this.”  “do your knees hurt every time u walk.”  “when do you think we’ll be done with this.”  “it smells so bad in here.”  “I don’t want to use the spray glue cuz it smells so bad.”  I could go on with this forever…but I wont.  I don’t usually complain about shit like this, but come on…its so fucking annoying. 

There is just so much that I need to get off my chest and now writing it is just making me more upset…..if there is anyone that actually read this and cares to let me vent to them……please come forward .    

Currently Playing Thicker Than Water By Jack Johnson see related

So here we go…updating since I havent done it in such a long time!

Not THAT much has happened since the last time I wrote in this thing…but the one thing that did happen was so much freakn fun I had to write about it!

Last weekend was UCSB Nikkei’s basketball tournament, and since Kary asked me to play and Trisha has been telling me to just play I decided to go ahead and play.  I said yes to playing thinking that it was gonna be real chill, pretty much like equal competition.  Turns out I’m WAYYYYYY off! Besides playing on two teams which wasn’t THAT bad, we played some teams that I cannot even explain.  Jeez man…we played the UCLA team which was freakn good and kicked our asses BOTH time we played them! It was fun though [[losing!]].  We did pull some pretty big upsets though, I must say our UCSB Nikkei team was crazy! I was pretty impressed with the way we all played together! It was pretty awesome! So we ended up playin SEVEN games in TWO days! OMG I thought I was gonna die after four games and that was only one day! After the second game my shins started to hurt and the third game just freakn did it.  My left shin felt like the muscle was ripin apart.  My right shin isn’t THAT bad but it dus hurt.  I still played, I played as hard as I could…I had little outbursts here and there so I think I contributed a little! [[HEY KARE LET ME KNOW IF I DIDN’T!!!! hahahahahah!!]].  Of course there was drama but hey when is there never any drama!?  It was aight though, we did what we could about it and then had our own fun. 

The after party was actually pretty cool! Drank a little, danced a lot, met some people, dance with some people!!! As a whole I had an awesome time at the after party.  So…the best part of this entire weekend was after we got home from the party…see Kary has this child safety lock thing on her car door and the person inside cannot open the door, they have to wait for someone to open it for them.  So Trisha decides to try and fix it at 2:30 IN THE MORNING.  She’s messing around with it and then we hear, “Uh Ohhh….Kary.”  Turns out Trisha messes with something else which is part of the door and how it closes and the child safety thing is a different thing.  So now we cannot close the door because the gears were locked and we couldn’t get it back to the way it was.  I’m tryin to help Trish pull the gears back and our hands are getting all greasy.  Finally, she decides to just call AAA and have them come out and fix it.  So after she gets off the fone she says that they will be there in a half an hour…We were all tired and we had games the next day.  Trisha looks at the door again and pulls on the door handle thingy and it unhooks.  She freakn fixes the thing so she has to call AAA back and cancel the person coming out.  It was pretty freakn funny…we were all able to laugh about it when it was fixed, but it was getting pretty tense when it was broken.  The memories we make are freakn awesome!

So yah…that was my exciting story!!!!! We didn’t take very many pictures so I wont be putting any up, but lets just say we all had a good time, we are all freakn sore as hell, and we’re all tired. 

I’m going to go and study and then off to my group meeting…

~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…sPriNG bREak…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~…~

This year spring break SUCKS !!!! But it is my fault so I cant complain all that much.  I have been extremely productive though…yet I haven’t seen, talked, had any communication with anyone in the past 6 days.  Come to think of it…I have not even opened my blinds of my room.  I have been sitting pretty much in darkness…cuz I’m too damn lazy to get off my fat ass to turn the light on.  The only light is from my computer screen.  WHAT A LOSER! But….i have been running everyday like a good girl, I finished my paper early because I have nothing else to do.  I cleaned my room, did my laundry, folded and hung all of my clothes [[not something I usually do!]].  I caught up on ALL of my reading and even went ahead a little bit! I cleaned parts of the house…and the rest of the day is pretty much sitting in darkness.  What I have NOT done……….GONE SURFING……….it has been too long [[5 months to be exact!!!]].  That is almost a half of a year, jeez we have to start all over again. Sucks!

Anyways…yesterday was my sister’s 18^th birthday! Wow…time flies I cannot believe she is 18!!!! That’s amazing! We didn’t do anything big for her, cuz we weren’t sure if she was going to be home or not.  But we got her some good stuff!!! Her friends are awesome for doing so much for her! Cant thank you guys enough!

Tomorrow we leave for San Jose…I’m excited but not.  That is all I’m going to say.  hopefully my girls do ok…n not just get killed every single game. 

Hmmm…GIRLS we need to go out soon…I’m dying! Lets go dancing or something!!! We haven’t done that in the longest time! It would be fun!

Well I guess that’s enough bitching and complaining for ones ears…or eyes.  So for now…

Al0hA

beringers!!! ooo fun fun fun! us girls before ruby sky!!! yeyuh!!!!!

just a few pictures from frisco for kary's bday! i know i'm supposed to put these up on ofoto and i will promise! haha!! but for now enjoy these!

things have been good...all i have to say!